After a full day on Saturday, I went swimming Sunday morning at 6 am for an hour and drove home. Already we were planning to stay home from church because Karen had been sick, so when I arrived, I sat down. It was like I had been caught in a wave, suddenly I was underwater, exhausted with a headache pounding in my temples.
I stood at the counter taking NAC, extra quercetin, vitamin C, L-lysine, vitamin D3+K2, and zinc. Our arsenal for Covid-19. If we had had some, I would have taken HDQ (Hydroxychloroquine) or ivermectin, both proven effective in early treatment protocols in many 1000s of cases (although maligned by media intent on propagating lies). Then, I laid down. My head had begun to pound. It was impossible to look at anything. I couldn’t think. The rest of that day I napped, drank water, took more pills as Karen brought them or I staggered out to get, and stayed down. Food didn’t sound good. I could not even think what I might eat.
When awake and unable to sleep because of the headache, I listened to a book from the library. Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke proved a great distraction. Sleep that night was minimal. I was up and down multiple times. Sunday and Monday blurred together. Both days I ate little bites of food. Then, Monday evening my fever broke, taking the headache with it. This was a great relief. Monday night, I slept better, yet still in short spells.
Karen and I had planned to take two nights away this week, so, thankfully, my calendar was clear through Wednesday night. With Covid, the planned get away got swapped out with a stay-cation.
Tuesday morning was a relief with the headache and fever gone. I was left with the waves of exhaustion. Sometimes my head swam, so I slept. This was the day of frequent naps. I lowered the protocols, as I could tell my body was in recovery. Strength was slowly returning.
By Wednesday, I napped between every call I made, and took it slowly. I put up my hammock in the backyard and enjoyed some of naps there, and enjoyed looking up at the beauty of the blue skies and trees. There is something epic about a hammock. It slows life down. I found the splendor of looking up at the leaves and blue sky soul satisfying.
On Thursday, I was able to sit up half the day before a nap. A true achievement. For us both covid was not a huge physical hurdle. But it was accompanied by a sense of depression which was harder to shake. It was like an emotional malaise took root. Even while the physical symptoms peeled off, the emotional hung on. It was like living underwater emotionally.
Of course in this world there are many reasons for such emotional lows, with current national leadership, the fuel prices, the shortages, the shootings, the divides between people, the lies being told on many fronts such as the so-called Jan 6 hearings. The FBI already has found no evidence President Trump, or his allies coordinated any part of the Capitol riots, but it seems this committee would like us to ignore this. Indeed, they will allow no expert testimony which might thwart their pre-determined agenda. But that’s the times in which we live.
Those things will run their course. I cannot change them by wanting them to be different, nor by shouting loudly. But I can change me. The only person I have control over is myself. Perhaps this is why Paul in directing the people of Philippi to rejoice always calls them to pay attention to what they are thinking about. Their times like ours were filled with political power-plays even to a greater extent. Their highest leaders demanded people worship them, ours have not gone this far. So, if the people of Philippi were to visit with you and me, they’d get it, but probably would say, “Hey, you’ve got it easy!”
This thought has me back with Paul’s advice to pay attention to what has my attention.
Think on such things and put them into practice. Advice given to people living in the city of Philippi, a Roman province, thousands of years ago to get out from underwater, to experience the God of peace.
The evangelist E. S. Jones used to say,
The world system calls for our attention, for our allegiance, constantly. Certainly, we need to be praying and seeking to change the tide of what is happening around us. This will occur in each and every interaction we participate in. But, we cannot make anything shift by watching every news broadcast. Instead, we need to use Paul’s list as a grid, a test for the content we seek. The “blessed one” of Psalm 1 meditated day and night upon God’s Word, not upon the news, and “whatever he did prospered.” So, perhaps, that’s the kind of focus we need for our thoughts.
This is what I have needed to get “up from underwater.” I’ve needed to look at the good purpose and power and might of God who is in control and active and working behind the scenes of every corrupt thing going on. God is at work behind the evil to thwart it. So, no matter how much evil might seem to be winning, in the end of the day, evil will meet its demise. God will expose what is hidden in darkness.
Like on my hammock, looking up into beauty, so in the day to look into the fullness and beauty of God, this is to think on the best and the good and the excellent. It’s a way to get out of the emotional doldrums.