It was Wednesday night at 10 pm. I had done my blog post on Monday as has been my pattern since February 1st. I had done it all on my phone. The technology of how the phone responded to the WordPress app was challenging, but after hours of wrestling, I was able to press “post” and lay it down to turn to other projects.
But Wednesday night I was looking at my Facebook account and realized Monday’s “post” was not there. I checked my WordPress account, and it was not there either. How many times had I been told: ‘Saved one minute ago’ in the process? Yet there was no draft of that post, no page where it still existed. But somehow after hours of time, the post which had one time been there was totally gone.
I didn’t laugh, I moaned.
“Really?” was my frustrated response.
Seriously. And that was when technology got the better of me. I was so disappointed at all the time spent and, what felt like, wasted time. I know – no such thing, for all things have purpose and plan! But still it “felt” wasted. I dove off the high ledge into the black pool of self-pity and swam around a while, which did not make me easy to live with.
Karen calmly mentioned that perhaps I could be thankful I am discovering this while still here! That was true, but I was still enjoying the dark waters and unwilling to get out.
It was not time to solve this what felt like a crisis. So, instead, I simply went to bed. But then there was the thought – “God, how are you using this in me?”
The next day and days following, I realized just how much God uses technology, and the malfunction of it, to challenge my life. He allows stuff that I would wish he would just solve, so that I can be more in touch with Him and lean more on Him.
What if instead of diving into the familiar pool of despond, I simply turned to the “Father of Heavenly Lights” and asked for understanding, for wisdom, for the lesson?
What if I cancelled my entrance pass to the diving platform above the “black pool of self-pity,” and instead just looked up, and stayed in the waters of hope, of life, of love, and of peace provided by the magnificence provision of Jesus?
What if I listened to this God instead of to the thoughts that swirl up like grasping fingers from the depths of my own doubts, taunting me, speaking with the language of “always” and “never,” detailing out all future days based upon one experience?
What if I believed the God who says that He will use “all things for my good,” (Romans 8;28) and really believed that “all means all,” not excluding the present “thing” that has presented itself before me?
What if every experience now and when I am in Spain and Ireland will be an opportunity for this God to change me, and grow me, and challenge me?
I found out this technology glitch, which I have still not solved, was not the end of the world. No one said, “Hey, why no post this week?” It was an experience now, which, as Karen said, let’s me learn to decipher what glitches may occur and how to overcome them, or at least “live with them.” God remained God and I remained me. Good stuff.
So, hat’s off to you, technology. You are yet an instrument in the hands of my Maker to expose my own need for growth and life. This I receive!